HAVE IT YOUR WAY (R)
Est. 1954

A King cup tells others you enjoy the better
things in life. A refill may be all well and good,
but no thank you, you’ll just take this single,
cup of champions, fill it once and sit down
and enjoy your meal. And if somehow you
still finish and need to refill, well, then
you’re that rare breed who needs two giant
vessels of refreshment. And that means only
one thing. You’re having it your way.

And as always, I filled the cup on the way out. It’s in the fridge right now.

Protanomaly (one out of 100 males): Protanomaly is referred to as “red-weakness”, an apt description of this form of color deficiency. Any redness seen in a color by a normal observer is seen more weakly by the protanomalous viewer, both in terms of its “coloring power” (saturation, or depth of color) and its brightness. Red, orange, yellow, and yellow-green appear somewhat shifted in hue (“hue” is just another word for “color”) towards green, and all appear paler than they do to the normal observer. The redness component that a normal observer sees in a violet or lavender color is so weakened for the protanomalous observer that he may fail to detect it, and therefore sees only the blue component. Hence, to him the color that normals call “violet” may look only like another shade of blue.

Which makes sense – I had a Spanish textbook in college which I remember dark blue and purple changing color depending on the surrounding light. Confusion between shades of dark blue and shades purple was always the case with me. You don’t normally notice it. Also, my favorite colors were always the lighter shades of green. If everything looks greener to me than what is really the case, I guess that could be an influence. Supposedly it’s genetic, but nobody in the family has heard of anything, and having ancestors in peasant Southern Italian fishing towns and still-drought-ridden Roman suburbs doesn’t help. Apparently I got it from my mother’s side, so that would make the former true.

I found a Japanese program called Visolve, a screen capture tool and Start menu toolbar which enables you to adjust the colors. It helps me to separate different shades which look the same to me. I can finally read those confusing dots!

Here’s an example:

Rugrats: Angelica and Chuckie

Chuckie’s glasses and Angelica’s dress can look very similar to me. The Visolve toolbar makes the color difference more apparent – Chuckie’s glasses are a lighter shade.

You learn something new every day! And here at the Azz Pizz Institute, there’s always some political & economic bullshit for you to read! Be sure to stop at our Washington DC office, there’ll be lots of Jagerminz S’more Schnapps, “The Edge“, and Magic Brownies with Decriminalized Frosting & Smokey Sprinkles. And if you want something more burgery-like, be sure to check out our Bilderburgers, Chicken Illuminuggets, and Masonic Milkshakes. They’re so good, that at least 50 McDonald’s and Burger King employees who proposed plagiarizing the recipe mysteriously vanished in the Bermuda Triangle!